This is why you are feeling so tired

Sometimes in life, we go through a period where one thought dominates everything. It could be anxiety about something that may happen, grief at a loss, ecstasy at success, or excitement about something wonderful to come. The thoughts are the last thing in your head when you go to sleep and the first thing in your head when you wake up. You may be able to distract yourself for a short period, but these dominant thoughts are always there in the background.

Usually, these periods are short – a few days or weeks, maybe a few months very occasionally before the situation passes or you find a way to deal with it long term. You can still delight in your success while moving on to the next goal. You can still grieve a loved one while continuing to live your own life. But what they all have in common, happy or sad, is that as you move on from these times you will likely feel exhausted from that intense period of focus on a single issue.

When one thing dominates our thoughts in this way, it also dominates our emotions. There is nothing so tiring as mental and emotional stress – give me a marathon to run instead any time, and I write that as a hugely unfit person with a big chocolate habit!

But what you may not have realised is that we have all been going through such a period recently, and it has been going on for a year and a half with no sign of ending completely any time soon. The pandemic has dominated our lives since early 2020. Every aspect of what we do has been touched by it on a daily basis. Even if you avoid the news as much as you can, which I heartily recommend for your mental health, you have to keep in touch with the changes in rules for school, work and travel. You have to carry out a mental risk assessment before doing things you have taken for granted all your life, like visiting the shop down the road for some bread or milk. Then every time you cough or sneeze, you start to wonder…

Even if you have managed to get a holiday, you cannot escape the impact of this disease on your lives. If you go away, you have to check the rules before you go and keep an eye out for changes while away in case you need to cut your trip short. A good film or book may distract you for a while, but even TV shows made recently include people in masks or keeping socially distanced.

None of us has ever been through anything like this, and of course, the seriousness of the situation means that all of this attention is absolutely justified. If we had all stuck our heads in the sand and tried to ignore COVID or just hope that it would go away of its own accord, the results would have been even more disastrous. Paying attention to the rules and acting sensibly and cautiously as the situation changes have been, and continues to be, the right thing to do.

But if you are now exhausted, there is nothing wrong with you and you are not alone. Those of us with anxiety know this feeling of burnout all too well, but for many others, it may be a new and deeply unpleasant surprise. It means you are human. You think things over, experience emotions, and expend energy doing so when those thoughts and emotions are strong or difficult.

In many ways, it would be more of a surprise if most of us were not feeling a bit run down right now. Then the spiral starts. When you are tired, you are much more prone to feeling down generally. As you get down, those negative thoughts can multiply and the cycle repeats.

I wish I could give you a magical solution that would break the cycle and put everything right in a moment, but it simply does not exist.

I can suggest this. Be kind to yourself. Rest when you need to rest and do things you enjoy when you can. Do not expect yourself to be as productive and efficient as you were before this started. Finally, accept that returning to normal will not be the same normal we had 2 years ago. That may well be a good thing in many areas, such as increased working from home for some of us, but it will still take some getting used to.

If anyone tells you that they have been unaffected by the pandemic, they are lying. But do not compare yourself to others in any case. They are on a different path. Do what you need to do for your well-being and be patient with yourself. Reach out for help if you need it – it is a sign of strength, not a weakness.

In 50 years, our grandchildren and great-grandchildren will read about this time in their school eBooks and marvel at what happened. Why on earth would it not have had an impact on all of us who have lived through it?

Mark Palmer is a freelance writer specialising in mental health, autism and neurodiversity. He can be contacted through his website www.markpalmerwriter.co.uk, by email at mark@markpalmerwriter.co.uk, on LinkedIn and on twitter @MarkPWriter.