SPOTLIGHT: Meet Claudia Mihai - Software Engineering and Mental Health
- Shreya Parekh
- Jun 16, 2021
- 5 min read
Updated: Aug 17, 2021
"While I am a software engineer now, I wanted to be plenty of different things growing up. The fields varied greatly from politics to science to writing. In my last 2 years of secondary school, I discovered I enjoyed coding thanks to a good informatics teacher, and I pursued computing for university. Initially, I went for an AI specialisation; with a passion for languages and logic, it seemed like a field that would allow me to continue exploring all of that. I had several fascinating courses in university, and I'm sure it would have been great to pursue further. However, in my second year, I failed some of my exams, had to sit out a year, and got moved to a BEng course instead.
Eventually, I learned that depression and anxiety had been lurking for a while, and in the high-pressure environment of university, they started to thrive. I knew about them just like anyone else, but I was stuck in the land of "Well, this isn't THAT bad" until it was just that bad. As a now reformed overachiever, it took a lot of therapy to learn not only how to deal with my mental ill health, but also to separate academic failure from permanent personal failure.
When I was going through the worst times, I also shut down socially, which is all too common. So now I talk a lot more to others about mental health. Being open about my own struggles and/or feelings tends to encourage those around me to do so as well.
Nowadays, I still struggle with it, but I've come to accept it. I know a lot more about what I need, how it manifests, and how to take the time and space to deal with the flare-ups. It's not perfect, but it doesn't need to be; it's a process. I know its benefits are talked about high and low, but I do find journaling can be incredibly effective in assessing where I'm at and processing things. It allows me to better remember any lessons or insights I learn along the way, too. I'm also wary of any time I tell myself "just do XYZ" - there are definitely times when that's necessary, but with depression, in particular, that often seems to be a quick way to dismiss anything else I'm feeling.
Failure still stings, for sure, but I can be a lot more understanding with myself now, and there are always things I can learn from it. Going out into real life has also helped with that. Especially in tech, there are so many people who started different journeys originally, and that has definitely given me a lot more perspective.
I was lucky to meet many excellent people along the way, and part of that has been through my work with Geekettes, a global network for women in tech. I joined Geekettes as a London ambassador soon after finishing university, and it's only grown closer to my heart since. The mutual support and the sense of community I've found in our group as well as a few others have helped me feel less "other" in the workplace. While I haven't had too many negative experiences, I'm not sure you can really feel like you belong when you're generally the only woman on your team - and there may be one other woman in the rest of the department. It's
a background feeling most of the time, but it's also an environment ripe for imposter syndrome. I try to always keep that in mind for marginalised identities that I don't hold as well.
My professional path so far has consisted of an enterprise chat app, football analysis, and a website analytics platform. They were all very different and interesting environments, but my longer-term goal was to eventually join a company that had a purpose aligning more closely with my personal values. I've recently achieved that by joining Blueheart, a start-up developing a digital sex therapy solution. It's kind of a weird feeling to have actually reached this point, especially when I least expected it, but it's definitely good. I'm taking the time to enjoy it and trying to apply everything I've learned along the way."
What would you have done differently?
"I would've definitely asked for help earlier with my mental health, but I don't think I would've changed much else."
What are your key lessons & tips?
"Absorb everything you can from those around you. You might gain new skills; you will definitely gain a deeper understanding of someone else's work and how it may relate to your own. Both outcomes are extremely valuable."
What do you love most about your job?
"Problem-solving and constant learning. Luckily for me, it's what it mostly consists of, too!"
How do you define success?
"Success is balance to me; being able to take the time and space for myself, to rest, to learn things entirely disconnected from my job, to challenge myself."
Who inspires you?
"I got a kitten toward the end of last year, and honestly, I've been finding myself more and more inspired by him over the past few months. It sounds like I'm joking at first, but the way he gently and firmly sets boundaries, the way he rests and shows up giving 100% during playtime, the unbounded curiosity - there is a lot that I look to emulate in my daily life, too. On a different note, I also find most people are inspiring in various ways if we look for it, so that would be my circle of friends, plenty of people I have worked and am working with, and so many in the Geekettes community.
Outside of the tech space and immediate connections, Rachel Cargle is someone I've been looking up to more and more lately. She is a public academic, writer, and lecturer whose passion in advocating for community care is truly inspiring, alongside her way of living with ease, love, joy, and intention."
What's something about you that not many people know?
"Does being the same height as when I was 11 count? It's one of those things that makes complete sense once you hear it, yet putting an age to it seems to be a surprising factor."
What's the last book you read?
"Mutual Aid, by Dean Spade. Would highly recommend it."
What’s your favourite food?
"Beet borscht! I think it originated in Ukraine, but can be found across Eastern Europe, including the North-East of Romania, where I'm from. It's a deep red sour soup made with beetroot. Besides being delicious, I always found it fun, too; we usually serve it with sour cream, which turns it all shades of pink. My grandmother used to make it often for me growing up, mostly because I always asked for it!"
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